It's A Dog's Life: Never Assume...

Thursday, 12 September 2024 08:00

By Teddy (via Helen Stockton)

Teddy reveals that dogs, much like their human companions, are individuals with different likes and dislikes, as explained by human interpreter Helen Stockton

One of the mistakes that some folk make about dogs is in their assumption that we all like the same things. Take walking as a case in point. Dogs are supposed to be waiting impatiently, lead in mouth, next to the back door, but I have never been very keen to be honest. Why, when I’ve got a comfortable bed in a dry, warm house, would I want to be perambulating and suffering the vagaries of the British weather? ‘Her Indoors’ reckons it’s good for fitness and mental stimulation but I’m quite happy for her to enjoy these benefits without my company, I’m a generous dog!

Another thing that lots of dogs seem to enjoy is swimming. Show them a river, lake, pond or the sea and they plunge in, cavorting in the water. In recent years, wild swimming has become fashionable for people too, but in this household, we are of one mind in this instance, just no! There is the double indignity of not only getting wet and dishevelled once, but of then being subjected to a bath or shower to get the not always pleasant remnants of our British waterways out of our coats. It’s bad enough having a professional ‘fur do’ at the groomers every four months without having to run the gauntlet of a DIY job, with tea tree oil shampoo, under the tender ministrations of ‘Her Indoors’, in between times.

Some people also seem to think that all dogs enjoy playing with the same kind of toy. Some pooches cherish a particular soft toy for their entire life, carrying it around gently in their mouths and sleeping with it in their beds. Terriers and soft toys are not, generally, a happy combination and any ‘stuffie’ that makes an appearance in our household has a life expectancy of less than five minutes.

Instead, our toy box is filled with battle-scared rubber toys of the mega durable kind. The apprentice’s favourite toy is a kind of rubber cone, that in an ideal world would have treats stuffed inside it. I’m not saying ‘Her Indoors’ is mean but that rarely happens here, something about our waistlines. She’s a dyed-in-the-wool spoilsport, what can I tell you!

My favourite toys are those that look like flat animals, crinkle when scrunched, with a squeaker. ‘Them Indoors’ refer to them, in rather poor taste if you ask me, as roadkill toys.

Anyway, I get very excited when one of these appears, not that they last very long either, which is a shame. The apprentice joins in gamely, but I don’t think they are really her thing, which is fine. We, like people, all have our different preferences, it’s what keeps us interesting!

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It's A Dog's Life: Never Assume...

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