It's a Dog's Life: Why So Much Sport?

Tuesday, 6 August 2024 08:00

By Teddy (via Helen Stockton)

This year’s summer of sport has been a testing time for Teddy! His human translator, Helen Stockton explains why

Well, if you don’t like sport, I’m guessing you’ve had a bit of a grim summer! First, we had the Euros, when the whole nation was gripped by football fever, and every person, regardless of their knowledge about the sport, became an armchair pundit, shouting advice at the TV. Or was that just our household?

Then we had Wimbledon, and the usual preoccupation with the British hopefuls. Andy Murray always gets our support as he owns Border Terriers, which naturally shows that he is a sportsman of discernment and good taste. Then there’s the Olympics in Paris. The good thing about them is that we are not reliant on the performance of one individual or team. If a particular competition doesn’t go quite as well as hoped, there is always another.

And there are such a wide variety of sports that there is bound to be something for everyone. This year there is Breaking for the first time. This isn’t, as we first feared, ‘Her Indoors’ being extra clumsy in the crockery cupboard, but a kind of urban dance that involves acrobatic movements and stylised footwork.

I reckon myself and the apprentice might be in with a chance there. When we play together, we have our own set of rules, which ‘Them Indoors’ haven’t quite fathomed, bless them, but which often leads to us prancing around and fancy paw movements. Gold it is then!

One of the problems ‘Them Indoors’ have with watching sport is that I don’t like balls on the TV. I don’t mind them in real life, in fact I often play with them, but on the TV they are a threat to the wellbeing of my household and need an intense barking at. I also check round the back of the TV, just to make sure they haven’t sneaked into the room. You can’t be too careful.

Football is particularly an issue. I normally have one good bark at the outset, get told off and sent to my bed, then rumble through the proceedings, having another few barking sessions every now and then, when it all gets a bit much. I can often get the apprentice, Bear, joining in too, although I suspect she wouldn’t bother if it was left to her. It adds a certain frisson to the viewing occasion.

Sometimes I get it wrong and bark at things that are spherical but are not actually balls. Balloons, round fruit and veg in cookery shows, men with bald heads, these are all grist to my mill. ‘Them Indoors’ are often left guessing as to what has actually set me off but this is all good mental exercise for them when they are only watching the physical kind.

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It's a Dog's Life: Why So Much Sport?

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