Hospice Nurses Join Families In 'Night to Remember'

On July 13, hundreds of people are expected to gather in Worthing to walk through the night in support of their local hospice, St Barnabas House. 

The walk, now in its 15th year, is an opportunity to raise money for the hospice, but many also use it as an opportunity to reflect on their loved one’s life and the memories they made together.

There are three different distances, including a new, accessible two-mile route suitable for little legs and pushchairs. 

This year, a team from the hospice, led by healthcare assistant Claire Wiggins, will take part. Nurse Theresa Tholanah is looking forward to walking alongside local families, having experienced the hospice’s care from both sides:

“Before I started working at St Barnabas, I supported two good friends as they came to the end of their lives,” says Theresa.

“One was a nurse, a colleague from Worthing Hospital, who died in May 2017. Later, in 2019, I came here with another close friend. 

“Coming to St Barnabas with them was a great relief, because both friends lived on their own. They were going through a range of challenging symptoms, from medical issues to needing emotional support, and there were times when I wasn't around to help them.  

“My nurse friend had been reluctant to come here, but when she arrived, she was so pleased. She said it felt peaceful and safe. There were people at the hospice who could take care of every aspect of her condition, which gave her peace of mind.  

“A few days before she died, my friend said to me: ‘Little sister, it would be great for you to come and work here at St Barnabas and help people who are going through the same thing I’m facing now.’  

“At the time I just agreed with her and carried on with my work as normal. Then suddenly one day, perhaps two or three years after she died, I just knew it was time. That’s when I applied for a job at St Barnabas, and I’ve now been here for two years.” 

Nurses at the hospice say they develop a close bond, supporting each other through the most challenging days. What motivates them, says Terry, is empathy for the patients and their families:

“Nowadays, we have a lot of younger people coming in with very complex conditions. Often, they have young children. As a nurse, you think: ‘This could be my younger sister, my daughter, my brother or my friend. This could be me, nearing the end. So how would I want to be looked after?’  

“You give them a shoulder to cry on, you hold their hand. And sometimes you cry with them.”  

Theresa says she considers it a privilege to walk alongside families as they navigate challenging times and bear witness to the love they share.

“It will mean a lot to me to walk alongside families and supporters at Night to Remember,” she says.

“Sometimes when we’re caring for them, families see the uniform and think that we’re different from them somehow. And of course we are professionals, but I want them to know that we’re people too. I have also lost loved ones and I know how hard it is. 

“What I want families to know is that while no-one can change the trajectory of their loved one’s illness, they can change everything just by being there, building memories with them. I know that can be hard, and if they want to cry or just talk, I am there to listen to them. If they want someone to keep them company, I am there to hold their hand.”  

Theresa and her teammates Clarie Stevens, Mae Ann Alcalde, Niki Freeman, Suzanne Heath, Rhonda Gilfillan, Leanne Grispino and Claire Wiggins will be taking on the 7.5-mile route and are hoping to chat to lots of other walkers on the night.

“It’s a great opportunity to share experiences with other people, celebrate the lives of those who have died and support the cause at the same time,” says Theresa.

“St Barnabas House is such a vital part of our community, particularly for the most vulnerable. By walking together on 13 July, we’re enabling St Barnabas to support even more people as they go through the hardest of times.”  

If you’d like to support the ream with their fundraising, please visit their page at: stbarnabashospice.enthuse.com/pf/barnabas-bootes