Healing after a breakup is a challenging and deeply personal process. It takes time, self-compassion and effort, but as Adele Trathan explains, no matter how bad it seems, recovery is always possible
When a relationship breaks down it can feel that your world, as you know it, has imploded, making it impossible to see any light at the end of the tunnel. However, with some serious self-care, you can take steps to support the healing process. Here are some suggestions to ensure you are looking after number one.
Get grieving
When it comes to the agonies of heartache, we must permit ourselves to surrender the stiff upper lip and let ourselves feel the pain. It’s okay to experience sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief, so allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment, knowing that this is the quickest and most efficient way to come out the other side.
Process
Write in a journal, talk to a trusted friend or therapist about your emotions, meditate, take long walks and do anything else that helps your brain work through the complicated thoughts and feelings.
Cut contact
Minimise communication with your ex, at least temporarily, to give yourself emotional space and unfollow or mute their social media profiles if seeing their updates restarts and prolongs your pain.
Resist rebound
Resist the urge to jump into a new relationship too quickly. Focus on addressing your feelings instead of using distractions to mask them and try not to move on until you are fully ready.
Reflect and learn
Consider what the relationship taught you about yourself, your needs and your boundaries. Avoid dwelling on self-blame; relationships end for many reasons, often beyond your control.
Rebuild your routine
Create a sense of stability by maintaining daily habits and focus on work, hobbies or other responsibilities that give you structure. Focus on physical health (exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep), mental health (practise mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress), and self-love (treat yourself – engage in activities that bring you joy, such as reading, cooking, or explore new hobbies).
Future focus
Redirect your energy toward personal growth. Take up new challenges, like learning a skill, pursuing a passion, or travelling and join clubs, classes, or community events to expand your social network.
Forgive unconditionally
Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool, so let go of resentment or guilt as holding onto these emotions can delay healing. Forgive your ex and forgive yourself – remembering that forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation – it’s about freeing yourself from emotional weight.
Be patient
Healing isn’t linear, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. Celebrate small victories, like feeling happy for a day or rediscovering something you love, and you’ll soon find that you are healing. Maybe you think about your ex less often, you feel more excited about the future or you simply feel at peace – it’s all a process, and the sooner you are on the path, the sooner you can complete it and restore happiness. Good luck.
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